I never knew just how much becoming a mom was going to rock my world! I am amazed at the small things in life that have changed before my very eyes...such as my driving - I'm so aware of the people around me, and I now watch people fly past me because I'm just mosying along with him in the car (except for the other day when he was hungry and I was trying to get home to him so he could eat). I don't want to be away for him for any given amount of time.
My in-laws gave us a gift card for valentines day with the stipulation that when we used it that they could babysit. They called the other day and asked if we wanted to go out that night and they would take care of him...we decided that we should go - I needed some tennis shoes and we could run to eat and get shoes all in a 2 hour span (getting back before he was hungry). We got to the restaurant and the waitress asked if we were celebrating anything special - Jonathan whips out his phone and says, "Well our baby is three weeks old today - want to see a picture?" I asked him when she left if he had been showing it to other people and he said "Yes! Anyone I talk to I show them a picture of him!"
Isn't it so funny how our life can change so quickly? Without even knowing it, I became more aware of our lifestyle, ways to try and make it better, and wanting to do anything to protect our sweet new addition...words just can't explain how I feel about him. I just feel so responsible for everything to do with him - if he cries I just want to sweep him up and make everything better, and when his tummy hurts, I try to figure out what I ate to bother it so it doesn't happen again (thankfully chocolate doesn't seem to affect him yet), and I just find myself staring at him for hours, watching him sleep and smile and coo. He's forming such a sweet little personality more every day!
I'm going back to work in such a short time and I just don't know how I'm going to do it...I hate the thought of leaving this little guy for more than an hour, much less 10 or more a day! How do you do it? How can you leave this precious gift? I'm really struggling with the thought of it - crying every time I think about it. I haven't left him for over 3 hours anywhere yet, and I know I'm so not ready to...I hope I get brave soon!
He is so precious. Going back to work is not fun...there's no way around it. But, I promise it does get easier. Some days are harder than others to be away from them. You will learn to treasure your weekends and soak up the time you do have with them. Enjoy your time off & try not to fret about going back yet.
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